Technically I'm not a stay at home mom. I work part-time outside of the home. But I was for a long while. It's different being at home. It can be isolated and isolating. People assume you have time you don't have, that it's luxurious. And when you decide to emerge from your cocoon sometimes people treat you as if your brain has turned to mush.
I have a friend that is staying at home for them it is a choice of affordable child care and not being able to work due to one person's schedule. I've been poking this individual so that they won't feel the same way I did when I emerged from my cocoon.
I felt as if no one took me seriously. That I hadn't done anything with my time. The truth is I have raised and continue to raise two wonderful girls but I hadn't taken an classes nothing to keep me current.Which in the outside world didn't make me valuable to employers. And there was fear. Fear of competing with younger more savvy individuals. Fear of not measuring up.
The truth is I need to work part time. I have to be there for my kids. I have to be there for my husband.
I did start writing three years ago. I found my voice. I have a goal. All human beings need a goal. Something to look forward to. We get bogged down in the everyday especially when you stay at home your entire focus becomes about what is going on with that little being you're taking care of.
That's not wrong. It's a good thing.
But eventually they go to school. They need you in different ways. And you as a person need to learn and grow as well. Because eventually they leave the nest. They become adults who hopefully have become self sufficient and if you haven't had a goal in mind, you might just end up lost. Unless you're an adventurous soul who wants to find a new reason for being, and wants to have fun in the process of doing so.
I guess what I'm saying is don't take yourself for granted. Your family needs you and you need you too. Sometimes it might seem like an up hill battle. Just put on foot in front of the other and keep walking. Because sometimes it's just a matter of buying that book that interest you or taking time out to attend a lecture or even just taking five minutes for yourself. It's not selfish it's looking after you so you can look after everybody else.
Remember one foot in front of the other and you can achieve anything.
7 comments:
i enjoyed your post - lovely. thanks for sharing your thoughts - i totally agree - doing something for you so you can look after everyone else :)
Betty
Great post, girl! I want to have kids in a couple years and I'm actually scared of trying to balance everything. I don't know how you do it, but I'm impressed. And it's nice to hear that you can still do things for yourself when you're a mom. I think so many moms forget that :)
great post. i'm not a mom, yet, but I have so many friends who struggle to find a balance and forget that it's good to do things just for themselves.
I read your post to my husband, and he asked, 'Did you write that?' I is amusing that two different women can have such similar situations. I am a stay at home mom, the differences are I have two daughters and a son. I can't manage an outside job at the moment, so I am doing a Master's course online. Hopefully, when my youngest leaves the nest, I won't feel insecure with my much younger, zesty counterparts. I enjoyed your blog, eep writing, doing something for yourself!
I needed to read this post. Thank you so much for your words :)
I needed to hear this today. I returned to my job last September after staying home with my 2nd son for a year. I took no pay leave when my 3 mth maternity leave was up. It was a sacrifice to do this. I have no regrets but at times it felt as you said that I wasn't doing anything. This view was often reinforced by friends who couldn't understand that breastfeeding an infant and running a household is very demanding. It would irk me when they would say things like " oh right we forgot you're on vacation"
You just perfectly outlined the fears of all stay at home moms. I want to stay at home but worry so much about how people see me that I don't know if I can handle it. Sad.
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