Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Fantasies (warning not my usual g rated post)

I'd originally planned this blog as Male fantasies versus Female fantasies.

I hadn't event thought about this topic until the other day when I realized some of my favorite authors had moved into the erotic genre and not only were the writing one on one sex they were writing menage a trois (threesomes) and other seemingly forbidden fantasies.

So  after hearing derogatory phrases like "mommy porn" and  "Smut books," The list goes on. It got me to thinking about the differences between men and women and their fantasies and how they indulge them. Then I realized how unfair it is to pidgeon hole men and women,  and so the topic then became Fantasies.

Yes men and women can differ on what they want, but surprisingly most of their fantasies line up.  This list is in no way scientific and is complied from many articles and lists found in many places, as well as I interviewed a ton of my friends.

You can disagree or a agree but this is what I've discovered. In no particular order:

  • Sex with the same gender (Female/Male)
  • Bondage/Domination (Female/Male)
  • Anal Sex( Female/Male)
    • Includes pegging
  • Group sex (Female/Male)
    • Threesomes and the like
  • Exhibitionism (Female/Male)
  • Voyeurism  (Female/Male)
  • Masturbation for/of partner (Female/Male)
  • Oral sex (Female/Male)
Men and women  are often taught to feel shame about their fantasies but I find that it's more acceptable for guys to look at porn, or vocalize their fantasies. 

For women there is still the feeling for a lot of women that sex is dirty or that vocalizing their fantasies is unacceptable. Or even that looking porn is something to be ashamed of.Or that reading an erotic novel is somehow shameful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, this. We have common ground if you're willing to look for it and not at the differences. Hope this helps anyone out there who might need a little help vocalizing their needs and or wants with their partner.

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