Friends.

After reading Maria Geraci's "A Girl like you."

 and watching Big Bang Theory ( I know, two things you wouldn't expect to be together right?) A subject that's been circling my brain and much discussed with the hubby of late became a theme.

In "A Girl Like You." The Heroine finds out that another character thinks she's the ugly friend (henious description of a person you supposedly know and love) in her trio of friends. It's interesting to watch the interactions between Emma and her friends, coworkers and love interest.

It got me to thinking about my friends and how far apart geographically we are.

I have really good friends here in Orlando. I'm talking about my friends from high school. The few out of the many that have stood the test of time. The disagreements, the years of silence, the years of hardship, those of loneliness and happiness.

The point here is that I have a few really trusted friends some old, some new. Some have no idea that they are even considered my dearest friends. Why you ask? Because I've lost people that I thought were my dearest, closest friends in the past few years. So as in writing I've discovered I fear rejection in life just as much.

So where does The Big Bang Theory come in?

I'm not as Sheldon put it one episode "the apathetic tertiary friend." The person you turn to when your primary and secondary friends aren't available for comfort.
I'm not the ugly friend (henious description of a person you supposedly know and love)either, but I am kind of the background friend. The friend you know you can call on if you need me but I'm not going to be front and center. In fact I sit back and watch and listen. I make sure you're ok but I'm not going to be the girl insisting you spend time with me every weekend.

And part of the reason I don't insist, is the fact that I have a family and I'm a creature of habit. The other part of that, I don't want to be hurt. So I keep my distance and I retreat at the first sign on any perceived rejection. I'll only make a move/ offer if I'm relatively sure that I won't be rejected.

So much so that I'm not even sure the geeks that invade my house on a Saturday know that  they are some of my favorite people. Even though I cook for them when I won't cook for anybody else.

I guess what I'm doing is working out my issues in public,( yeah the internet!) something I'm not overly fond of doing.but you get the idea. Hope you have a great day and thanks for reading this blog.

Chudney