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From time to time on this blog you will find this
series, Things I want my girls to know. My girls are thirteen and seven. They
have very different personalities. They have been raised along the guidelines
which were set down by my mother, my grandmother, my aunts and my great aunts.
You’re probably saying to yourself, that’s a
lot of female relatives. I have many,
and they are vocal. However my girls have also been raised according to my husband’s
beliefs as well.
I bought a scrapbook for each of them a few
years ago. When I bought them I had grand ideas of sitting down and making them
each a scrapbook. The scrapbooks have sat at the bottom of my closet. The idea
however has been percolating in my mind.
When I left home I was a sheltered openly
vulnerable seventeen, who had never been away from home or family at all. I
cried for two weeks, but I was determined to make it on my own, so I pushed
forward. I want that for my girls that tenacity, that ability to feel fear and
still move forward.
I wasn’t prepared for what living in a new
country and culture would mean. My mother stricken with cancer at the age of
thirty two and orphaned at the age of five had been over protective. This is
not a criticism. This is a statement of fact. Her upbringing via maiden aunts
and her illness drove her need to protect her children with everything inside
her.
I too am over protective. I have only let my
older daughter attend a sleep over once, and only with people that I’d gotten to know well. I want
my girls to know, that I like my mother before me care about happens to
them. I want to protect them, to shelter
them from harm. But, I promise that I will try not to shelter them so much that
they have no skills to survive in the real world.
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