I went to M&M and as we say refilled my well. I got a few request for partials and one for a full, so I'm busy looking everything over. I networked and simply talked to other like minded women. I danced my ass off.
I ran a five miler for the first time. I ran the entire way even though the fourth mile kicked my ass. My mantra for the first three had been you can do this. My mantra for the last two was literally don't puss out. (I'm a delicate flower can't you tell)
I managed to run it in and hour and five minutes. Which if you knew me meant I was over my expected time by five minutes. Like that actually matters. What matters is, a few things that I've been working on for myself emotionally and mentally came together on that run somewhere along mile 3. These are intensely personal and private and they needed to be worked out.
My hubby couldn't refrain from the I told you so when I came home and told him some of the things I'd worked through. And I quote "I've only been telling you that for the past nine years."
I refrained from reminding him that the household projects he's suddenly developed a burning interest in? Yeah those, I've been gently and not so gently suggesting for the past nine years. See no tit for tat even though it feels like I'm severing my tongue.
"As I get older I see that running has changed for me. What used to be about burning calories is now more about burning up what is false. Lies I used to tell myself about who I was and what I could do, friendships that cannot withstand hills or miles, the approval I no longer need to seek, and solidarity that cannot bear silence. I run to burn up what I don't need and ignite what I do."
This is awesome Chudney! I loved seeing you at M&M and MAJOR congrats on the run. Both events are amazing in themselves.
Love, love that quote. Just a warning, I'm going to steal it. That fits EVERYTHING I've been battling recently and I can't help but thank you for finding something that put my thoughts into words. :)
Best of luck on those manuscripts. You can do it. I know it.
Hey Tami, it was so good to reconnect even if it was only briefly. Steal away!
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