Why you shouldn't try to write things with a headache.

I'm a panster. Or more accurately I'm somewhere between a panster and plotter. I think my stories through, but unless i want to end up stuck, I write it as it comes. I could have just thought about where I want it to go and honestly it might take another direction.

I'm like that with blogging too.

I'm totally a panster when it comes to blogging. Except for my New series on things i want my girls to know and the Guest blogs once a month I generally have no idea what I'm going to blog about. Sometimes I get lucky and I get an idea that morphs into two or three blog post.

Usually though, it something that has happened in the course of my day/week that triggers an idea. It percolates and the night before the post needs to go up I find myself writing and editing. Which leads me to last Saturday night.

Yep I wrote a post which I intended to title Here be Dragons. I had such a blinding headache while I wrote my blog that I ended up titling it, wait for it, Where be the Dragons?

Still cute but different feel. I obviously didn't notice it until the post had already gone up. It could have been worse. So now you know.

Music Monday! Imagine Dragons - It's Time

Guest Blog- KC Burn- Romantic Deal Breakers

Today's guest blog deals with Romantic Deal Breakers. I'm pretty sure you guys have some ideas on what those might be. KC Burn my good friend and partner in crime has a few ideas on the subject:

I watched The Birds not long ago.  I’d never seen it before (I’m not much into old movies) but I thought it was maybe time I did, for my own edification.  I mean, it can’t hurt to watch what’s considered a classic, right?  

Well, one part in particular caught my attention.  The heroine (whose name escapes me… clearly I wasn’t THAT into it) follows the hero home (a man with whom she had a brief conversation with in a shop… where she LIED about who she was), sneaks into the hero’s house and leaves a bird as a gift for his sister (who she knows even less than the hero).  The heroine also pumps local inhabitants for information about the hero and his family.  

My first thought?  Ew.  Creepy stalker.  Forget the damned birds, Hitchcock had the makings of a scary movie right there.   No doubt that part of the story was meant as some nod to feminism or something.  On further consideration, though, I know I’ve read scenes like this in romance novels and was perfectly willing to suspend disbelief that the recipient of such actions would be romantically inclined towards the ‘stalker’. 

In real life, though?  This would be, hands down, a romantic deal breaker.  But I am a lot more forgiving in my fiction, and I’m not even sure it’s necessarily because of the ‘fantasy’ element.  I’ve read more than one sexy hero who smoked, and the smoking itself was sexy in the story.  Real life, though?  Another deal breaker.  Several years ago, my husband wanted to take up cigar smoking.  I told him I refused to have kids with someone who smoked.  So he didn’t.  The irony of us later deciding not to have children is not lost on me.  Nevertheless, I think I surprised him by taking such a hard stance, because I’m a fairly laid back sort of person.

What about cheating?  Now, I see more of this in gay romance than I have in straight… at least, where the cheater is forgiven and taken back.  Personally, I think that it has more to do with long-established reader expectations in straight romance than anything else.  Regardless, cheaters can be forgiven and the relationship can go on.  I don’t know if I would consider this a deal breaker, because I’ve never truly faced the situation.  I like to think I could be reasonable if I was in love with the person and it was a one-time physical thing, but I can’t be sure.  Can a relationship truly survive that fractured trust?  I’ve seen it strongly affect friends’ subsequent relationships, long after breaking up with a cheater.

So, I’ve covered smoking, stalking and cheating.  What about other plots like voyeurism, gambling, drug addiction, abuse, alcoholism?  I’ve seen them all in fiction, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have the patience in real life to accept these in my relationship.  And I’m reasonably sure no one actually fantasizes about having a partner with these issues, so what is it that makes these plots compelling?  Why are these not reading deal breakers? 

Tortured heroes?  Super sexy in books.  In real life?  No way.  I like my men with minimum baggage, fully sane and responsible members of society.  Of course, that may be because I’m loaded with baggage and not entirely sane.  Thankfully I’m still a responsible member of society.  

I believe the reason we read about tortured characters and seemingly impossible relationships is hope.  Hope that if these people with all these problems can find love and happiness, well, we’ve all got a chance, too.   But I’m willing to entertain other explanations!

Cover Up Blurb:

Detective Ivan Bekker has hit rock bottom. Not only is he recovering from a bad breakup with a cheating boyfriend, he’s also involved in a drug bust gone bad. Ivan had to kill a man, and his friend was shot and is now fighting for his life. Though Ivan is under investigation for his part in the shooting, his boss sends him on an off-the-books undercover operation to close the case. The timing is critical—this could be their chance to plug a leak in the department.

Off-balance and without backup, Ivan finds himself playing a recent divorcé and becoming Parker Wakefield’s roommate. He finds it hard to believe that sweet Parker could possibly be a criminal, much less have ties to a Russian mafia drug-trafficking operation, and Ivan lets down his guard. His affection is unprofessional, but Parker is irresistible.

When Ivan comes across clear evidence of Parker’s criminal involvement, he has to choose: protect their relationship, regardless of the consequences, or save his career and arrest the man he loves.

Bio KC Burn has been writing for as long as she can remember and is a sucker for happy endings (of all kinds).  After moving from Toronto to Florida for her husband to take a dream job, she discovered a love of gay romance and fulfilled a dream of her own -- getting published.  By day, she edits web content and at night she neglects her supportive, understanding hubby and needy cat to write stories about men loving men in the past, present and future.  Writing is always fun and rewarding, but writing about her guys is the most fun she’s had in a long time, and she hopes you’ll enjoy them as much as she does.

Visit KC at her web site: http://www.kcburn.com or on Twitter: http://twitter.com/authorkcburn

Music Monday! Troumaca - Fire

Things I want my girls to know - Mandatory Reading Time

Image courtesy of [nuttakit] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why I require you to have Mandatory Reading Time:

I read to you while you were ensconced in my womb. In Kiki’s case she went to school with me during college for the first seven months of gestation. I’ve been fortunate you two have always loved being read to, and with a few false starts have loved to read.

However it seems that computers and the TV’s have begun to compete with reading, and that my dear children is unacceptable. (Yes, we own several and I have a Nook)   Why?  Because words are the foundation of our language. If you can’t read them or sit long enough to truly appreciate them then I’ve done a piss poor job of educating you.

Some would gasp at the way I’ve never filtered language from you. I’ve wanted you to see our language in all its glory and its shame. Why you ask? Because I want you to be able to express yourself in anyway. I want you to see what is effective and what is simply horrendous to listen to. 

Why reading ? Because when you read, you immerse yourself in words in a way that isn’t easy to do in movies . You have the words on the page and your brain turning those words into stories, into images, that transport you to other worlds. That spark you interest in other topics, other countries, other worlds, other people. (You know I love watching movies, so this isn’t a knock against them)

It does what I cannot do. By simply demanding you be interested in the world around you, I cannot make you interested, you have to be interested on your own. It also helps to give you a break from the stimulation overload of your video games (and ours). Your generation needs to know how to shut off for a while and a book is the perfect way to do it.

Then there is the fact that it gives you a conversation starter. A common ground with someone else out there. The ability to connect over something as simple as an idea. It gives you a source for lively debate and shared enjoyment. So when I ask you to turn off the electronics. I’m not torturing you. I’m asking you to do something for yourself.

Music Monday! Rihanna - Stay ft. Mikky Ekko

Smart girls Love Sci-Fi- Werewolf at the DMV

Image courtesy of nixxphotography / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Come find me over at Smart Girls love Sci-Fi

Went Camping!

We went camping last weekend and as I mentioned in my sunday post , I was expecting my over active imagination to get the better of me. It did, but not in the I'm to scared to walk to the Port o potty at night thing. Before you girls or guys start making choking sounds this one is clean. (Otherwise I'd be digging my own hole) Yeah. Yeah. I know gross.

The weekend started off on Friday, I dropped the man off at work for a half day and headed home only to realize that I couldn't bask in having the day off just yet. I had to shower and head back out to the DMV to renew my drivers License. I hear the groans already.

The Tag office I went to used to be this quiet sleepy little thing with not to many people in it. Obviously I hadn't been there in a while because when I stepped in the doors, low and behold, there was better lighting, more counter space and yep people. Wall to wall people.

So I did what eveyone else did I took a number. Cringed when I saw I was number 316 and found a seat. My father used to say that I was like a vagrant in the town named Pipiry ( no idea how to actually spell it) Because  Pipiry always had a multitude of bags. I only had one.

My bag was filled with my electronics; ie laptop, nook, cell phone. My favorite blue suede notebook, sharpies and pens and of course snacks. Plus things like my mini umbrella. As you can see I was set, waiting wasn't a problem for me. Untill, they finally called my number and told me it would only be a 15 minute wait. It turned into an hour, at which point they told me that they were having trouble printing my license ( I started imagining what I coud do with super powers at that point) I did get my license not to long after that.

Which meant I left, picked up the hubby and kids with all of our acamping gear. Drop the kids and the dog off and headed out to the park. (Did I mention this was an adults weekend. Ps I love the grandparents and aunt for baby sitting) Things were fine. The camp site was beautiful. Until:

We forgot the rain slick. It wasn't in the bag with the rest of the tent. It was.... at home on the pool table, in the garage covered by the clothes I'm donating to charity. (yes vietnam vets are going to pick them up soon) So off the hubby went leaving me with his half drunk Guiness and all of our stuff to go get our rain slick. Before you ask. It was neccessary. Our tent is mainly mesh without it.

So I figured I'd set the tent up myself. Afterall I'd done it before (forgot that I'd had a second person). After much conversation with the tent, some sore fingers, and the duct tape being used because one of the poles decided that it might be a good idea to split. I got it up and realized that I had nothing else to do.

I ended up laying on top of the pinic table. Through the canopy of the trees I watched the clouds go by. Bit by bit my body relaxed into a half doze and my mind began to wander. I had the fleeting thought that perhaps most women would be afraid being out in the woods alone by themselves. Honestly for the first time in months, laying on the wooden table, alongside a lizard who decided to sun himself as well, I couldn't find it in me to be afraid. I felt like myself.

Music Monday! Metric- Gold Guns Girls

PS: Went Camping this weekend! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming :
Into The Wild!
  Happy Monday Everybody!